Breathe deep and exhale

This is my first full day of being unemployed. I do not have fear about the decision to leave. There is some vague whispering in the back of my mind that I should be worried about not having an income. I have learned to be very stern with that fear talk. I am resolute that it shall not cause me concern. This is the best decision, the only way to make me whole again.

I read a book. Simple enough, right? I haven't done that in too many years to count. Albeit a short and easy read, all the way through and in a matter of 2 days, relaxing in a chaise by the pool on the cruise, I read a book. The title was Paris Letters and quite apropos for my own situation. That felt really good. Surrounded by the exquisite beauty of the Alaskan sea, mountains, and wilderness, my mind and my body were finally able to relax enough to just stay with one task and not try to do multiple things at all times. That was a great milestone for me. Yes, reading a book!

Fresh from a 9 day vacation that included 7 days on a cruise ship to Alaska and Victoria, B.C., my mind has begun to unwind from its chaotic bindings. Like the inside of a baseball, my mental space has been like those hundreds of stretched taut elastic strings that are purposely bound together with no movement or purpose of its own and covered with a perfectly stitched white cover, sitting idly in its designated space or being moved from one box to another. Only when being bashed by another object and sent reeling into the sky for other's entertainment does it hold value and it is sought for return.

A little sketch I did from the deck chair of our cruise ship while sitting in the port of Ketchikan, Alaska: