I finally did it.

I had no idea it was going to be such a long time before I got around to doing another blog post, but, as they say, better late than never, right? I was just so busy during the entire month of October. I had the Missouri Veteran Stories project that I am still involved with. I went out of town 3 weeks in a row for that and one other time in September. And I did a helluva job given the time and resources I was *ahem* handed. Whole 'nother story that one.

Then there was the Riff Raff show that I had two paintings accepted into. That was really exciting and flattering. But that also meant, framing, matting, delivering, picking up, attending the party, making a costume to attend the party, etc., etc. It's all good though since my costume turned out fabulously with the help of my partner Nicki, I must say! Here's a couple pictures of my custom created wings (that matched my painting, hee hee).

This small one I swiped from the Metromix website who had photogs there. I am in pic #23 and my "entourage" is all together in pic #81.
Also, friends Tim and Anne got their very own spotlight in pic #5! nice!

 
Here's a nice high-res one that we took at the party:

So, now, I thought I would be hell-on focused to be preparing to enter a high school craft show. It's one in an affluent neighborhood and there is great potential. However, due to budget constraints, I don't think I can risk the initial up-front investment it would take to do such a show. Not knowing how any of it will sell and having to create a lot of things and pay for things, well, I just don't know if I can risk it. Not having any other income right now has me super cautious about the little money I have left. So yesterday, I did a fair bit of grieving about having to come to the decision of re-directing my focus to finding that awful "office" job. I just know that it takes such a great amount of energy first to try and sell yourself to the few companies out there who are hiring, and second, to learn whatever new industry I would go into. It left me feeling pretty defeated. I know that I can't divide my full energy into these two things. So I have to make a choice. And, well, I guess I'm just going to have to put the art away for a time. I don't know how long. Hopefully, not years like it has been before. That makes me so sad to even read it.

I just felt so happy, and right, and important when my energies were focused on an art career. Preparing for markets and art shows, building websites, photographing works, and not the least of all - creating art, it all made me feel important, even a little glamorous. That's the life of the successful artist that I dream about. I have made the decision, hesitantly, but still can't seem to let go of the whole thing. My mind, my heart, they keep going back to it. Thinking about new creations, ways to market existing ones, things that I "should" be doing to prepare for the Lafayette craft fair, they all keep popping up in my head. *Sigh

Bills are bills and I gotta pay 'em. So, with a heavy heart I stare and stare at the half completed resumé. I'm confused by the format that was suggested to me and I'm having such difficult time with it. I really need help but can't afford to pay anyone. I know someone who is good at it but she is having a pretty difficult life right now and I daren't seek her time during this tumultuous period of hers (and almost a year after it was offered I might add). I just have to be at peace with this but it's going to take some time. All I really want to do is grab my pencils and color away the day.

But then, there's that awful problem going on in the bathroom also....Ugh! Rotting floor under the apparently leaky toilet and now we are in day two of unexpected renovation. Matching tiles were not at the store where they were supposedly purchased. The previous owner left none here. He thought he had a box of them at his house and I became elated thinking that was one less problem I was going to have to deal with. But in true "Ron" fashion, he realized he only had a couple sitting on top of a box of different ones. The four that he gave me are all whole. I have to be grateful for that. However, 2 of them have paint all over them. That should be a fun new chore!

I must note that I am being much less positive on this post than I truly try to be in life. I suppose that's because writing a journal used to be my therapy and putting words in black and white, free flow style, just lends itself to emotive purging. At this time, I will re-think that first sentence. It's less about being positive and negative and more about shining a big 'ole light on the unpleasantness. I try to be grateful and appreciative every single day. I have been to the bottom and know that things could be so much worse. Keeping focused on what's good in life, every day, will keep your head above water and will keep you from drowning in sorrow and self-pity. Still, a good purging of emotion will make me feel better, I think. I'm just sorry that you, the reader, have to be subject to it.

Before I forget, I wanted to mention that I finally got some of my work onto a website available with print on demand. That means, if you like my work but can't afford the originals, you can purchase high quality prints here: audi-swope.finartamerica.com. And, right now, they are having their first ever sale. 15% off for another 2 days!

Well, off to the hole-y bathroom! Pictures of that to come....